Psalmists: Orphans Searching For The Love Of The Father

A number of years ago, I spent an extended period of time doing research into Worship Leading Ministry. As I looked at the life of David (the Psalmist), I discovered a series of common Biblical examples that led me to make a very profound conclusion: Most true Psalmists are people with an “Orphan Spirit” who are seeking the heart of the Father.

What do I mean by an “Orphan Spirit”? An orphan spirit is a strange sense of “not belonging”, or not connecting, of not having a family -- of being “fatherless”. It is usually due to a disconnect with an earthly father, either by the father being absent (physical disconnection through death or divorce), or a father being present but distant (emotional disconnection). In either case, the son (or daughter) feels disconnected from his (or her) father, and sometimes their whole family, and as a result, tends to walk through life with a sense of not belonging, of not fitting, of being rejected or abandoned. This affects their ability to connect with other people, to feel accepted, and to trust others.

People with orphan spirits tend to compensate in a few different ways.

Some compensate by isolating themselves and closing their hearts to intimate relationships, so that they will not suffer the pain of any more rejection. As a result, they go through life trying to be good husbands and fathers, but never really able to open their heart up to their wife or children on a more intimate level. They may have many “acquaintances”, but no true friends with a heart to heart connection.

For others, the pain of rejection is so strong that they turn to drugs or alcohol to kill, or rather deaden the pain for a short time.

Still others become addicted to pornography, because part of the appeal of a fantasy sexual life is the unconditional acceptance which the imaginary partner always extends to the person in their fantasy life.

But … if a person with an orphan spirit becomes a Christian, and hears about the love of Father God, something stirs up on the inside of them. As a result, they often begin a life-long journey of pursuit, filled with deep passion, to experience the love of the Father. In the Father’s presence they discover the intimacy with a father that they never had as a child, they experience unconditional love and acceptance and approval, and they discover a spiritual connection that is so satisfying and securing that it draws them deeper and deeper into worship.

As a result, this group of people gain a reputation as passionate worshippers to others around them. And they tend to pick up musical instruments and use the medium of music to assist them in their spontaneous worship of God. Because of their depth of passion, they become very proficient on one or more musical instruments, and instead of using musical instruments just for ministry or performance, they become tools to enhance their private worship experience. And out of that place of intimacy in worship, dozens of heartfelt songs are spontaneously birthed, which describe their experiences of intimacy with God.

Consider David. He was the youngest son of a large family. Did he suffer neglect from his father? When David was just a boy, a pre-teen, he was made to look after the sheep-herd late at night – the most dangerous shift. How would you feel if you your father sent you out alone in the dark, to face the wild animals? When David went to see what was going on between the army of Israel and the Philistines, his older brothers all mocked him. Again, hard words of rejection from his family. And the kicker – when Samuel came in obedience to God, to anoint one of Jesse’s sons as king, Jesse never called David in from the field, because he even forgot that he had another son! It wasn’t until Samuel pressed Jesse, that Jesse remembered that he had another son! How would you feel if a stranger had to remind your father that you had another son?

In that environment of emotional rejection, how did David, suffering from an orphan spirit, respond? In his “secret place”, out on the hillside late at night, he cried out to God the Father. And out of that longing for intimacy with the Father, wonderful love songs were birthed, and formed into the book that we know as “the Psalms”.

Looking throughout history, and even into this generation, one of the things shared by most true Psalmists, is a common pain due to an orphan spirit, and a common search for intimacy with the Father.

If you are struggling with an orphan spirit, don’t give in to the temptation to go down the path to addictions or a distorted fantasy life to deaden the pain of rejection. Instead, seek the best remedy for the orphan spirit. Seek the Father, and let Him fill your need for true love and acceptance.

David Hibbert - August 2009